The last few nights, Rosemary has been asking me to rock her
like I used to do when she was little. She says she just wants to hear me sing.
When I rocked her to sleep every night, I used to sing for hours and hours. Even
though rocking and singing seemed to keep her awake even longer, I tried very
hard not to resent those hours sitting in the dark and holding her close, and
most of the time I didn’t. There were desperate moments after 10pm sometimes
that I thought I might go insane and yearned to look into bright light again,
but most of the time, I was quietly content to be snuggling with my own little
angel baby—even when she was big enough to just go on to bed.
