Saturday, May 11, 2013

The Day We (Finally) Threw Away the Halloween Candy

Today, my husband and I made a critical decision. We threw away the Halloween candy.

It's been taking up precious realty on the top of our piano since...well, October 31.

I guess we should've let the Easter Bunny take it away when he brought fresh loot, but we didn't. Instead, we left it on top of the piano, high up where short people and thieving dogs forget to look. Out of sight, out of mind. Occasionally, someone would look at the top of the piano and say, "Hey, can I have some Halloween candy? Just one piece?" Usually we'd say, "No way. Are you kidding me? That is Halloween candy. Do you know how long that's been sitting there?" Sometimes, very occasionally, we'd say, "Why don't you go find your (Valentine's Day candy / Easter candy / candy from church / candy from that birthday party), instead?" The Halloween pumpkins would just sit up there with their bellies full. I can't say that I know why.

But here's what I think. (Translation: Here are some excuses for why we left Halloween candy in the house until the middle of May.)
  1. I think we mean well. I think sometimes we have things we don't need, and we don't want to do the wrong thing and waste things we don't need when there are starving children. But then we don't want to give starving children old candy, either. Because that's just wrong. So rather than deal with conflicting feelings, we procrastinate. We do dumb things like leave Halloween candy on top of a piano months. And then we throw it away, anyway.
  2. There's the added health benefit, too. I mean, if you don't want your kids to eat candy, having old candy laying around has to make eating candy less appealing, right? So we're teaching the children to associate negative feelings with candy. (Okay, I'm not even buying that one, and I'm the one who left the candy lying around.)
  3. Let's try some honesty. We lead busy lives. We're a tad behind on the regular clutter maintenance right now. Okay, we're always behind. Candy clutter is an inevitable result of the Clutter Monster that is ravaging our teeny tiny house. I blame the maid. That lady is awful. Somebody should fire her. Really.
  4. "Out of sight, out of mind" applies to the adults in the house, too. It was on the piano and out of our way. It wasn't bothering us, and we weren't bothering it.
  5. We have small children. In desperate moments after 8:00 bedtime for the children and sometimes in moments scattered throughout the day, mommies need ample stash of chocolate and sugar. I've heard it called "kindness" before. There are moments you  just need some "kindness" for yourself. And if it has to be Sweet Tarts hidden above the piano, so be it.
 Anyway, for all those completely valid reasons, we still had Halloween candy hanging around in May. But don't come by trick-or-treating, because it's all gone.

Next month's goal: Easter candy removal.

The photograph below is our Halloween pumpkins, sitting happily on top of the freezer in our garage. Empty!

Am I the only one who has these issues? Or do I just need to see a good therapist?